If I’m Married to a Chef, Why am I Eating Burnt Chicken Nuggets?

Ya know, I’ve been married to Dennis for over 13 years, and I still haven’t learned how to cook.  In fact, I hate the task…I’d much rather clean the bathroom with my tongue than plan out a meal.   I do the laundry, complete the general upkeep of the homestead, clean the bathrooms and every other indoor chore necessary to keep a family of four functioning.  But I don’t cook.

The way I figure it, we just finished paying off the student loans from Dennis’ academic endeavors at Johnson & Whales University, so why should I have to prepare meals?

Should I learn to cook?  Might I actually enjoy it if I set my mind to it and tried? Will my daughter ever commend any cooking efforts I set forth upon if I actually followed a recipe? Probably not.  My life has enough disappointments in it, so I just don’t plan on setting myself up to fail at something else.

Back in the old days, moms would spend their days watching soap operas, cooking and cleaning.  They’d get the kids off to school, get their homework done ran the household like there was no tomorrow.  Nowadays, the moms work, 95% of them anyways.  The there’s soccer and cheerleading and drama club and basketball and girl/boy scouts (which my son did not want to join after he found out there was no sewing or selling of cookies involved), as well as every other pre and post school activity know to man.  Social time?  I don’t think there’s much time for that.  Soap operas?  I’d rather stick a pen in my eye than watch those deranged individuals on their 17^th marriage and kids that go from 6-weeks old to 17 within 2 weeks.  And they wonder why Prozac is so highly prescribed… it’s impossible to handle it all.

So to this, I simply say,  “Thank you Anthony Bourdain for making the culinary arts look so enjoyable, but for me, I’m not gonna do it.  Do you fold your own laundry?”

 Kudos to those who love the art of cooking, but for me it’s just not in my cards…and trust me, I have a lot of cards. And as for the burnt chicken nuggets, I’ll just give them to the dog.