Mommy-Where Do Bullies Come From?

Why does it seem that there are so many bullies now?  Weren’t we supposed to be the generation of parents who knew better?  Parents who studied Dr. Spock raised us and we grew up watching shows like Sesame Street, which taught friendship and showed people of all races and abilities interacting and playing together.

My child has a form of Autism known as Asperger’s Syndrome is bullied daily.  Asperger’s is an invisible disability because it is not outwardly discernable.  She is a sweet loving and outwardly appearing happy child with a heart of gold.  As I am sure, anyone who knows her would agree my child is the living embodiment of the spirit of Rachel Scott-the first victim of the Columbine Massacre and the inspiration behind Rachel’s Challenge. 

Children with my child’s disability are often blessed with an incredible intellect and gift for art or music, but almost as payment for these gifts, they are less emotionally mature and capable of interacting socially on the same level as their peers.  This makes my child an irresistible target for bullies. 

My family and I attended Rachel’s Challenge at the Jaffrey Rindge Middle School on September 26, 2007.  I was moved beyond words by not only the presentation and the remarkable person Rachel was, but also the strength her family and friends have mustered to take Rachel’s Challenge around the country to teach Rachel’s lessons of decency, kindness and respect for her fellow human being.  I embraced this event with all my heart with the hope that this may make a difference with some of the kids who make torturing my child a routine part of their day.

Through tear-blurred eyes, I glanced around the auditorium at the other audience members, I saw other parents, and kids crying but all focused on speaker Richard Hoover who was a sophomore at Columbine High School when the tragedy occurred.  I wondered who among the audience were bullies, who would be changed and who would just think this was hokey.  When we left, my child signed the Rachel’s Challenge banner for the third time.  I hoped against hope that some of other kids who signed it, took to heart what was said, and maybe some of the kids who were mean would see that their actions really did damage to people and want to stop.

The next day I went to school to pick up my child after school figuring that if anyone would benefit from the positive impact of Rachel’s challenge it would be mine.  On the way in to the building, I saw another parent and I asked if they noticed the kids being any kinder to each other today.  She said, “I know you really want me to say yes.”

The good news is that the day was a little easier for my child.  Hopefully, as the lessons of Rachel’s Challenge sink in and the Friends of Rachel work to implement the lessons taught there will be improvements.  Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

I applaud the school for hosting Rachael’s Challenge.  I have nothing but the greatest respect for Principal Heywood and all of the staff at JRMS and I look forward to volunteering and helping any way I can to keep momentum started by Rachael’s Challenge continuing.  I hope that parents use this as an opportunity to teach their children how wrong it is to bully and make fun of people.  I also hope that a dialog between parents can begin so if a problem arises the parents feel comfortable enough to talk to each other.

Like I said, Rome wasn’t built in a day but I think Rachel’s challenge laid the first brick.  Its up to us to build the rest.