The Ultimate Guys Shopping Guide for Picking our Lingerie

I remember so vividly my days of working at the mall around the Christmas holidays and Valentine’s Day! I would actually spend my lunch break sitting outside of Victoria’s or Frederick’s and watch the guys inside of the store make massive attempts at buying lingerie for their significant others. The closer to the holiday, the better, for not only were the males blushing seven shades of red and giggling hysterically like teen-agers, but the essence of panic filled the air with the feeling of “need to buy immediately”.

Frantic male shoppers searching the stores for the perfect sales associate who looked the most like their female companion…”Would you rather have this or this?” followed by a “Do you gift wrap?” Ah, those were the days… But should the guy be dependant on the mere wishes of the employees of the shop? Absolutely not! Lingerie is a personal item to purchase that needs to be thought out way before the final purchase is made. In other words, don’t fly into the store and just grab anything that catches your eye for one reason or another. I’m sorry to say this, but guys—you need to think about such a purchase. So I am hereby offering some personal advice to you in order to assist you on your quest to buy the perfect lingerie for your lady this holiday.

1. Buy What She Likes, not What You Like: If your lady likes full-style, brief panties, don’t go out and buy her thongs. She will take this as you trying to change her and you’ll be sleeping on the couch for the winter, or at least until Valentine’s Day when you buy her what she likes. On the flip side of this, don’t buy her the boy-brief style if she likes thongs. She might just hate panty lines more than anything in the world, and again, you’re getting her what you like opposed to what she finds to be “her style”.

2. Know Her Size: If necessary, fumble through her lingerie drawer and get her bra size. Here’s a hint: It’s not “Tiny”, “Small”, “Huge” or “Colossal”. Bra sizes have an even number to fit perfectly around her circumference plua a cup size, designated by a letter. The lower the letter, the smaller cup size she wears. For example, a smaller-chested woman would wear an A or B cup, while the larger, more gifted women would wear a C or D. Your favorite porn star might be a DD or even EEE. Some very tiny ladies might even wear a AA. But the number (usually 32, 34, 36, 38) has absolutely nothing to do with the size of her breasts. If you don’t feel comfortable sifting through her undergarments or don’t know her bra size, then you really should opt to purchase her jewelry instead. Panty sizes are another one, as they aren’t the same as regular pants or jeans. Different brands can run differently, as can different styles. If she wears a size 7/8 in jeans, the optimum panty size is a 6. If she wears an 13/14, she’s be pretty well set in a size 7. I don’t know why these sizes run differently than normal exterior apparel, but they do…just like sock sizing doesn’t correspond with shoe sizes. It’s just the way it is.

3. If You Purchase a Bra, Get the Matching Panties: That’s all I’m going to say about that.

4. Don’t Buy Crotchless Panties for Christmas: Save this for your anniversary or Valentines Day, and only if she likes them. Leaving something to the imagination and letting your significant other know that you appreciate her for more than sex is not proven by useless undergarments.

5. If your Girl’s Hips are Larger than a Size 2 Jean, Stay Away from Tight-fitting garments like Bustiers: Such items “suck in” any ounce of fat and “push it down, not up” as gravity just makes it that way. The end result is a female who feels fat and ugly (even if she’s far from it), which is probably not your goal in a holiday gift. A better bet is a looser fitting gift, like a “baby-doll”, “chemise”, or “teddy”. Remember, all will get the same result in the end.

6. Choose the Color Wisely: “Porn-Star Red” might seem like a good idea for the Christmas season, but the truth is, not everyone looks good as Santa. In other words, if you never see her wear red, don’t buy it. Black is another one to be a bit leery of. Even though this “lack of color” is slimming, it could bring thoughts of whips and chains, depending on the style you’ve chosen. If she’s not into that sort of thing, or you never see her in black, you might be better off shying away. Pinks and blues are a good choice, as well as white if she’s not deathly pale in the winter months.

7. Always Purchase the Matching Robe When Available: This simply completes the ensemble and reminds her that you want her to feel safe.

8. If You’re Contemplating on Getting the Matching Shoes, Remember Her Personality: If the matching shoes are 6″ stilettos with white, fluffy fur around the edges, think about if she will actually wear them. Don’t waste your money if they’re just going to sit in her closet.

9. Unless You’re Dating Jenna Jameson, Your Girl is Not a Porn-Star: Do I really need to delve into this? Probably, so here I go. While there are a lot of females out there who will watch porn (and probably fantasize about being in such a film), the majority won’t admit it. If you assume that they would, you’re in for one heck of a heap of trouble. Romance of one sort of another is key, and it’s your job to figure out which form of it works for her. Some girls like chocolates and flowers, while others would enjoy a romantic, candlelit dinner for two. Still others prefer leather and whips with a safety word. Females are all different, which is probably why guys have such a hard time understanding them. Effective communications and the ability to read your girl will ease in your decision-making.

10. If You’re Unsure, Ask Her: There are quite a few females out there who would want you to buy her something that you would like to see her in, and that’s a good thing because she’s trying to make you happy. So you’ll need to read the signs. If you’re in doubt, why not ask her. Maybe something like, “If I was going to buy you some sort of intimate apparel this holiday, what would you like me to get?” You might just be pleasantly surprised by her answer! Again, be sure to keep to the above guidelines as to sizes and styles, but you’re basically free to go out on your own and buy what you’d really like to buy her.

11. Whatever You Buy, Let Her Keep it on for a While: Don’t just rip it off of her! On an ending note, here are a few reminders of the differences between males and females. First off, guys are like microwaves (push a button and they’re ready to go), while females are more like an oven and need to be preheated. If you go a bit beyond and add in a bit of romance, something as simple as tugging on her hair when you kiss her, she’s going to feel like a million bucks.

Another note: Guys get into “comfort zones” while girls get into “ruts”. They’re pretty much the same thing, but one is a positive statement while the other is negative. It all depends on how you look at it and how you react to the situation and circumstances surrounding you. Don’t assume that she’s fine with life in general, with the same-old-same-old just because you are. An open line of communication can be the difference between a long-time love affair and one headed for disaster.