With all of the electronic doo dads and computer hackers out there just waiting to make their mark on the world, there’s a US Spy Satellite that’s lost power in the skies above and should be crashing down to earth at some point in late February or March 2008. And whoda thunk, but our extremely overpaid experts of such issues have no idea where it’s going to land/crash. So should we run and hide? Build an underground bomb shelter (of course I’d call mine a “Satellite Asylum”)? Do we run out an prey to every deity known to man just in case our faith was the wrong one? Do we call Bruce Willis? (He has saved the planet more than anyone).

I say “NO!” I think we should all think positively and direct this potential catastrophe to a place where it would do the most good. Of course, I have come up with my personal list of the Top 17 People I’d Like to See the US Spy Satellite Crash into for the 2008 remote projectile collision-with-earth season. And they are:

#17. Paris Hilton: I know that she’s probably on everyone’s “hit list”, but I did feel the need to mention her on mine. This chick is what’s wrong with this country, and the entire world is well aware of her antics…and that’s what they think Americans are like.

#16. Metallica: [Read more →]