Idiot Sightings: Be Careful Out There!
Aha! yet again, I’d like to thank my bud Sharon for one of those emails that make me look like an idiot while I laugh all alone…the worst part about this one is that each of these individual “jokes” is absolutely true. Enjoy!
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a -½ horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, “NO, it’s not.” Four is larger than two..”
We haven’t used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, “you gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.” She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing” The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”
From Kingman , KS .
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun We should do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open!” His reply? “I know. I already got that side.”
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us… and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE
18 comments
i was once asked by a waitress if i would like bacon with my bacon and eggs meal.
when my sister was 16 or so with a 4.21 gpa in school she asked me how many cans come in a 12 pack.
This happened in America? XD
Glad I live in Holland.
“This is fun We should do this more often.”
That doesn’t sound like an idiot to me, sounds more like a joke I would make. I love inappropiate jokes.
Nice… article/post. Hehe, I have another one:
I was working at this bar and I was going to the store so I asked if someone wanted something, the manager told me he wanted a soda, but we sold sodas, so I told him he should just take one of which we sold. He told me “no, it’s better if I buy it from the store, since I will this soda to sell”, but I told him “yeah, but if you buy it here at the price you buy it from WalMart, you will spend less and will have the money to buy another one, besides, there are plenty of sodas”. He said no, it’s better if he bought it from the store since he could sell the one he already had… I told him I wouldn’t let him do something stupid, I gave him back his money and went to the store anyway. When I was back he had this whole diagram to explain me how it was better, I just draw some money and told him “where do you prefer this to be at?” he stared at it like for 20 seconds, then said “aaah now I understand”.
Teehee. I have had the same thing happen as the woman who gave the cashier an extra quarter in able to get a dollar back. And the exact same thing happened… the cashier became confused and would not take the extra money I had given them. Instead of getting a dollar back, I got a handfull of annoying change, which I may add the employee had to count out. Simply giving me a dollar would have reduced the hassle for both of us!
what if two of these people meet and mate? do two stupids make a smart?
I have some just like these under the title Life is Tough, It’s Tougher if You’re Stupid. So for your reading pleasure…
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don’t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was the reply. “So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?” “That’s right.” So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the “divider,” looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, “Do you know how much this is?” I said to her “I’ve changed my mind, I don’t think I’ll buy that today.” She said “OK,” and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker.
Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?”
“Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?” I asked. “No, just this remote thingy,” she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk.”
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five “blank” copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like
an extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the “Cruise Control” and then went in the back to make a tuna sandwich.
7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he
got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”
8. Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in
the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants, the dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, “I just gave him some ant killer”….
Dispatcher: Rush him in to Emergency!
HAHA!
I love the airport one, it’s actually not at all an idiotic question.
Sometimes they ask that and people say YES, those people are the idiots…
I got one!!! I read this years ago…
Some guy called tech support asking why his coffee cup holder kept going back into his computer. He was getting real mad because it kept spilling his coffee.
idiot sighting to the author of this article. “The birmingham AL incident.” That is why they ask. Idiot. When you respond yes or no, you have just assumed responsibility for all items in your luggage. Idiot. You probably still don’t understand. Its okay if you couldn’t catch your own mistake in the proofreading of “clerks at Mcdees”.
Idiot Sighting at gabriel’s post:
“Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge” is a contradictory statement. There’s no such thing as assuming responsibility for something you don’t even know.
e.g. If someone puts something in your baggage without your knowledge, you would still answer NO because you DON’T KNOW ABOUT IT.
If someone puts something in your baggage WITH your knowledge, you would still answer NO because you KNOW ABOUT IT.
To the author: you can add this ‘gabriel’ to your list
More stories of encounters with the foolish and uninformed:
http://notalwaysright.com
I was working at a call center for Sprint and this lady called in asking if she could pay her phone bill in cash. I told her that wouldn’t be a problem but that she’d have to go to her local Sprint dealership to do that. She then proceeded to get angry at me and snapped back “Well why the hell can’t I pay now?” I had to explain to her why you couldn’t pay a bill with cash OVER THE PHONE and she still didn’t get it. Being in customer service I couldn’t really hang up on her so I just tried to explain it to her until she got so mad she hung up on me.
Major idiot sighting! I was studying for a test with a friend (16 at the time) when she got a piece of plastic stuck between her teeth from a pen cap she was chewing on. At first she looked worried and then in a relaxed tone she said, “it’s ok if I have to get my tooth removed, another one will just grow back.” After I explained to her that your “grown up” teeth don’t grow back she quickly returned to her panic state.
I wish that wasn’t true.
I have one, When I was in the army some years ago, when we got into position each of the guns had to run a telephone line to us at the command post, well one wasn’t working so I shouted over to the gun to check the line for a break. My mate and I watched one of the gunners take the line in his hand and walk along till he was roughly half way to us there he could be quite clearly seen to be looking at the end of the line. He dropped it and ran back to his gun where he turned and shouted, “I followed it to the end and there’s no break!!” These people protect your country!!! I have many more like that, fortunately, or not, depending on your viewpoint!!
I work at a convenience store, and a man walks in and asked me where do you keep your beer. I tell him that we don’t sell beer, and he replied ok, well where do you keep it. I sent him to the bar next door.
I work as an IT technician in an office and I had to tend to one of our quality control team’s computers to set up her e-mail account. I told her that I needed to use her PC for a minute to set it up and she asked “Do you need to sit here?”
I replied, “No, that’s ok, I’ll just move the keyboard” and proceeded to rotate the keyboard about 45 degrees. Surprised, she remarked “Oh, I didn’t know you could do that!”
A couple of days later I brought it up in casual conversation with my HR manager. The expression on her face was priceless.
I knew an 18-year old girl who had apparently seen one too many Domino’s “buffalo wings” commercials, where the buffalo would run by with tiny wings flapping on it’s back. When she saw a buffalo for the first time at the zoo…you guessed it…she asked, “where are his wings?”
The Al airport line is bogus. They would not be instructed to ask such an idiotic questio. the actual question is “Did anyone eother than you pack your bags?”
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