Light Cheese

This will be the first in a hopefully entertaining series deemed “From Under What Rock?”.

As this is the first piece in this category a brief explanation shall ensue.

Have you ever interacted with a person, who despite their age, societal integration, and access as well as media pushed availability of information, just doesn’t know something that any normal average person should know?

This category “From Under What Rock?” is dedicated to these people and is a safe place where we can share our experiences with these humans that must have been hiding under a rock for decades.

Today’s piece is dedicated to “Light Cheese Lady”.

I have had the privilege of working in both the deli and seafood departments of our local grocery store. In so doing, I have had the chance to interact with many “From under what rock?” people.

As I was trudging away in my current department, seafood, which happens to adjoin the deli department, I happened to overhear a customer speaking to a deli associate. This customer from here on in shall be referred to as “Light Cheese Lady”.

When asked what she would like, she responds with…”Um….Light Cheese? Is there even such a thing?”

Auditory cues tell me she is not asking the second question in jest, joking that all cheese is fatty,…she is actually serious…she has NO clue if light cheese actually exists.

Apon hearing such a ludicrous phrase I turn my head in order to lay eyes on the person who has just uttered it in hopes that it is some blonde bombshell fresh out of high school who happens to attend the college down the road who has never shopped for herself and has had NO idea what she has been putting in to her mouth the past 18 years of her life. Except that I realize that even in that scenario…she’s probably weight concious and knows enough that there is such a thing as light cheese.

What I see is not some fresh college nooblet…but a middle aged woman.

How in her 40+ (and I’m leaning towards 45+ with a heavy towards the 50 mark) years has she managed to avoid learning that “light” cheese does in fact exist. No it’s not some figment of her imagination that she just truly hoped and prayed would be there that one time she chose to shop at the grocery store. She didn’t address the question as…”Do you happen to carry light smoked gruyere?” or “I’ve seen it in other places but you wouldn’t happen to have a light stilton?” When asking for specialty cheese in “light” form it would be perfectly understandable to question whether or not it actually exists. Like the light stilton for example…even I don’t know if that exists.

But…having been on this earth for however long she’s been on it…and it’s been a decent amount of time, having been deluged by the media in visual and auditory forms, having had to shop in a grocery store on numerous occasions…having walked past vac-pac sections filled with various types of light cheese…having most likely ordered deli products from that deli and standing in front of the case which houses a good 5 different kinds of light cheese ranging from several swisses, a provolone and an american…having had to peruse the sales flyer at some point in her life…from under what rock did she just crawl out of that she could possibly not know that light cheese exists?

And so I invite you all to share your “From Under What Rock?” experiences. I know I have a few more I plan on sharing and all things point to many more interactions happening in the future.