Top 17 Sick Dead Baby Jokes!
(warning: Don’t go in here if you don’t want to read sick but funny jokes)
- How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head. - What’s sicker than driving over a baby?
Skidding. - What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume! - What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby. - What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children’s playground! - What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out. - What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy. - When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again. - How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them. - What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it - What’s more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 50mph?
Stopping it with a shovel - What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork. - What’s the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
The dead baby won’t stick to the roof of your mouth. - Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive. - What’s present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy - Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs. - What’s the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker!
For more go to: http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/dbj_011.htm
61 comments
Hmm. I see a patten developing…and it says: sociopath!
Whats worse than finding a dead baby in a bin?
Finding a dead baby in 10 bins.
Whats pink and cant turn round in a corridor?
A baby with a spear through its head.
those were not funny AT ALL. they were sick. and even if they had not been about dead babies, they would not have been funny. dead children are NOT FUNNY. how could you be so barbaric?
lighten up a little these jokes are funny because they are sick
What do you get when you nail a dead baby to a wall?
I don’t know about you, but I get an erection…
OMG! Those were freaking hiliarious!!! I freaking adore dead baby jokes.
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a sandwhich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwhich before you eat it.
O-M-G
what is like wrong with you people?
these like jokes are soooo not funny!!
this is terrible… satans errand boy
you’re going to hell
and i’m pretty sure that’s where you wanna go
like omg..
i am shocked..
you all should die
and have someone rape you
and then eat you
and then make a joke about you
and see if it’s funny then
like geezus..
You two are the sikist basterds to have ever plaged me in my life.
BE GONE!!!!!!
Alright, there’s a problem here. These jokes were hilarious, and I love dead baby jokes. Why? Because they’re sick. And because they’re jokes. Whoever you are, if you rip on these jokes; remember one thing. You came to this site. Don’t say you ‘didn’t know’. Because the link obviously expressed the content of this page. So that makes you the sick ones. Stop being so self-righteous. You’re no better than the rest of us. Learn to laugh, and stop being so high-strung.
Kudos to the makers of this list. And to add;
Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.
Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the Koala.
Why did the tree fall? The Koala never let go.
How did the Kangaroo die? The tree fell on it.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? Baby in a trash compactor.
What’s blue and thrashes about the room? Baby in a garbage bag.
What’s blue and flies through the room? Baby with a punctured lung.
What’s blue, yellow, and sinks? Baby with slashed floaties.
What’s yellow, red, and floats? Floaties with a slashed baby.
Haha. Take that, you self-righteous bastards!
What’s red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion!!
What’s worse than a baby in a bin lid?
A bin lid in a dead baby!
What’s the difference between a cup of gravel and a cup of placenta?
You can’t gargle the gravel!
Kickass…I need more….
One from me…
What’s bubbly and scratches on the glass?
A dead baby in a microwave.
How can you play football with a dead baby??
Just as you play it with a football.
What’s black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds?
A baby in a carousel microwave.
What’s better than a dead baby?
The revoked child support.
This ones the best:
What’s red, sits in front of the mirror and gets smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it’s hair with a potato peeler.
this is very funny
What is better than nailing a baby a fence?
Ripping it off.
lulu for 1 if som1 did mak a joke bout my death i’d laugh so pull tht stick out ur a#* n hav som fun 4 once geez
balancebeam… what are you doing on this if u think its sick, its the best
lulu get a life this is awsome and there will be baby jokes in hell
i love these jokes they are funy as fuck because i can relate to them
Omg these jokes are amazimg…… Lulu u are a stupid b**** learn to live a little ur going to hell nyways …. U came to this site …. Im gonna make sur u hear every dead baby joke wen u go to hell after i take over….. Have a nice day =)
rofl
these jokes are hella funny
only because i hate babies , midjets , children, ect…
whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon
one you smash with a sledge hammer and the other u can eat
okay first of all if yall didn’t like dead baby jokes then why’d you come here? to piss on someone else’s parade?
seriously get a life to the haters.
Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a
sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries
down the road to see what’s happening and sees a huge fire engulfing
a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the
window shouting to the firemen below.
FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we’ll be able
to catch you.
LADY: No….I can’t. My baby, my baby is up here.
FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we’ll catch him.
LADY: No, you’ll miss. I can’t leave my baby.
Jerry sees this and steps forward. “Hey, I think I can help. Let me
have the bullhorn.”
JERRY: Hey lady, I’m Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco
49er’s. I’m the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby
down and I’ll catch him, this is what I do for a living.
Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby
down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes
and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this
and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area,
fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over
the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby.
The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch.
So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two
step and then spikes the baby.
P.S. I LOVE DEAD BABY JOKES, ANYONE WHO DOESN’T IS WORTHLESS, also they need to lighten up
HI…I Googled “jokes” and clicked on this site because it says Learn Something New….I don’t even want to know wut these jokes say and could care less, please promptly remove them or I will report you. Joking about dead babies is sick, demented, godless, and twisted. You people should eat shit and die so you can rot in hell for all eternity—>Casey,yoitschris,Sara Suicide baby,joshuag …everybody else defending these jokes can go fuk yourselves you depraved inbred swine!!
How do you make a baby a dog?
Cover it in gas, light a match and…Woof!
How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
whats worse then 1 baby in 1 dumpster?
2 babies in 1 dumpster
whats worse then that?
10 dead babies in 10 dumpsters
whats worse then THAT?
1 dead baby in 10 dumpster!
GAH!!!
Yes to dead baby jokes
:]
ok….
what’s worse than on dead baby in a trash can?
-100 dead babies in a trash can
What’s worse than that?
-there’s a live one at the bottom
What’s worse than that?
-It’s eating its way out
What’s worse than that????
-IT CAME BACK FOR SECONDS
How do you get 100 babies into a 5-gallon bucket?
-A blender
How do you get them back out?
-DORRITOS
:]
hells yes to dead baby jokes
these are amazing. they make me laugh for hours!
people should lighten up. jokes like these wont kill anyone! if you don’t like them, why did you even waste your time and look them up and than read them? get over it.
love these jokes!!!
A different version of one of the previously mentioned jokes.
What’s worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What’s worse than a pile of dead babies?
There’s a live one at the bottom.
What’s worse than that?
It has to eat its way out.
What’s worse than that?
When it’s done, it comes back for seconds.
What’s the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Hummer?
I don’t have a Hummer in my garage.
If these jokes are not funny to some of you why then as I’m sure you read all the way through them. Should have stopped st the first, better yet not clicked the link. So your just as bad as us. And who can’t like the baby in a clown costume one. Amazing
How do you save a choking baby?
You pull your dick out of its mouth.
What’s the best thing about having sex with a baby?
No which hole you stick your dick in, you still get deep throat.
What’s purple, white, and red and sits in a corner?
A dead baby.
What’s purple, green, and brown and sits in a corner?
The same baby 2 weeks later.
what’s the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don’t come all over the apple before I eat it
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mustang?
There isn’t a mustang in my garage.
And the worst most horrifyingly hilarious one….
How many spins of a microwave does it take to kill a baby?
I dunno, I was too busy jerkin off
HOW DO YOU STOP A BABY FROM CRAWLING IN CIRCLES?
NAIL ITS OTHER HAND TO THE GROUND
whats red and screams alot?
a skinned baby rubbed in salt.
whats green and sits in the corner?
the same baby three weeks later
whats red and sits in all four corners of the room?
a baby playing with a chainsaw
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash on the ground, the other one is a watermelon
What do babies and grapes have in common?
They both give a little wine when you squish them.
What’s the difference between a baby and a football?
Around 15 yards.
Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see its facial expressions.
wtf? this is jesus!!! u bastards are all going to die! im telling dad!!
What does a baby look like in a blender?
I don’t know… I was too busy jerking off.
Ok well if you think we as a group who enjoy these jokes are socialpaths then your the politics bitch…. an another one is if you can’t relax to laugh then smoke a joint or what ever people are doing now-a-days
Hahahahaha. My friends and I spent all of computer programming reading these. So hilarious.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don’t know, I was too busy throwing them against the wall.
Two truck drivers get into an accident, one truck full of live babies, one full of dead babies. One driver says to the other, “How do we tell which one is which?”
The other driver goes to the piles of babies and starts picking them up with a pitchfork, going “Dead, dead dead dead.”
~Adam, Laura, and other person who wishes to remain nameless.
Stop with the dead baby jokes would you please? There are enough families hurting over illness and poverty to have dementia be added because of someone who obviously has no kids playing around and introducing this into their reality. Think first.
these jokes are quality! heres one:
My missus has just had a go at me after finding popcorn in the baby’s cot! She better not look in the microwave then…
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?….
you cant fuck a sandwich
pretty funnny, some dont make sense tho….k thanx byee
Whats the difference in an orange and a baby?
I don’t eat the skin off of my orange
lmao!! those r hilarios
Q) whats worse then fukkin a dead babie?
A) fukkin a dead babie full of razor blades haha
okay so these jokes are amazing there great and for those who dont like them get a life and have fun…. Peace. Love and Rockets BITCHES…
wowwww people need to lighten up. they are just jokes. i bet people wouldnt be complaining if they were racist jokes and shit like tht. lmfao
Q:) What sound does a baby make in the Microwave?
A:) I don’t know, I was too busy masturbating!
Q,whats the difference between a white baby and a black baby
A, 10 mins in the oven
What do you give a baby in a wheel chair for Christmas?
CANCER!!!!
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?????
There’s not a Cadillac in my garage…..
Sorry, that makes no sense….
Why do you stick a nondead baby in a blender feet first…..????
So you can see it’s facial expressions…..
lulu y r u reading these if ur so offened. u said we should get raped , killed then eaten. this is wat we r joking about in these jokes yet u probably mean this so shouldnt u go to hell cuz u want this to happen. i guessing ur religious (probably a bum chum of jesus) and the bible has belifes in polyigamy and incest which went on!!!!! these jokes r great and lulu f*@# u , dont over react when wat u belive in is wat we r joking about
Go Jimmy, I agree with you! My contribution:
What’s warm and attracts dogs?
Baby liver!
What drives them away again?
Lil shit still won’t shut up!
This is sick, depraved, and godless…. Andi fuckin loveit! Dead baby jokes FTW
Hey Josh I’m a big fan of dead baby jokes there hilarious but dude don’t start quoting a book you obviously haven’t read.There is no where in the bible that encourages or allows polyigamy or incest. Just wanted to point that out but yea these jokes are the bomb!
Difference between pile of dead babies and a ferrari?
No ferrari in my garage! haha
Q Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of apples?
A I dont jizz on my apples before i eat them!!!!!!!!
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