Only 16% of the world has an alternative view from religion – they are the free thinkers who have chosen to think outside the box. It is this 16% who do not live in fear within religion that will move humanity out of the box it now finds itself in. Religion does not tolerate outside views, and it is religion that has kept humanity chained to the fear of leaving it – “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” Humanity has a need to believe in something, and religion capitalized on the fear of the unknown to keep its supporting members.

The world has made huge advances in technology, but has remained stale mated when it comes to knowing itself, its purpose, were it came from, and where it’s going. It also seems inconceivable that mankind has been her now for 100′ s of thousands or even millions of years and in on the last 100 years has discovered the electric light bulb, automobiles and cel phones. Humanity has clearly demonstrated that it does not advance very fast. Where did all these recent discoveriescome from? Has the technology been given to us, and are we being guided?

Religion has held us back, because it worked for the Churches. Evolution would automatically turn people away from the churches, because the church does not grow by its very nature. Religion disempowered its people so that they would remain loyal and committed. There is little else in the human experience that people will defend more fiercely even when its evil is exposed. The need to believe is much greater than what one can reason. Wise and powerful people use religion to get what they want and it would not serve them to promote change in doctrine.

Once a person has been disempowered the only thing they have left to hang on to is fear. Fear is the cement that binds and holds one in place, there is no possible escape. For a measure of personal security for its followers, and a promise of eternal damnation; the world’s religions have held back the world’s population in a place in time that is going nowhere. One cannot think outside the box, while they are inside the box. One can deny that they are in the box as their thoughts and actions always give them away – they always return to the box and support their old beliefs. Words can be manipulated and often do not reflect one’s actions. You may be able to speak in a different language, but until you are able to think in that language, you cannot experience it fully.

Many people do not like what I write about, because it causes them to re-evaluate their beliefs, and they don’t like to be challenged. But I do not challenge any belief – all beliefs are valid and appropriate they simply demonstrate what a person is thinking in the moment. What I do is bring to the table an opportunity for change, for something better, and I support empowerment and personal responsibility for one’s own power. No one should ever be condemned for what they believe. If what you believe is bringing you everything that you desire, you would be foolish to change. However, humans are explorers by nature, and if your belief system is holding you back, then you are being held captive by your own thoughts.

Any life affirming religion would empower its members to transcend what it teaches, to become greater than the master, to exceed the limitations of its doctrine. The student must always become the teacher and the teacher the student if it has any value for the future. But this is not possible in religion by its very nature as an end unto itself.

The anthropomorphic old guy with a beard and gray hair who lives in a place called Heaven exists only in your mind and it is what you were taught and because you are afraid to believe otherwise, you have accepted it, by freedom of choice. The world at large believes and created that truth and is made captive by it. God does not live in your body or anywhere else. You are the creator, you are the power to whom you pray to, and you are the centre of the universe. Your world is created by you, for you and because of you. You are the embodiment of all you consider God to be – you are God, and all things are.

Now take that concept and think about it, use it to re-evaluate and reaffirm your present beliefs or use it as a stepping stone to move to the next step. Accept it or reject it because it works or does not work for you, not because you are afraid of it. If unconditional love and unconditional freedom are concepts that you want to experience in your life, then does this new idea work for you – does it pave the way for you to work outside the box? Does it elevate you to a new place of awareness and enlightenment or does it bring you back to where you already are?

A gun in your hand pointed at your head cannot hurt you until you pull the trigger. It is not the gun that kills; it is your thought at the moment you take action on the thought. An idea is just an ideal until it is acted upon. You have nothing to fear from exploring an idea. Some ideas will work for you while others won’t. The thought of holding a gun to your head, is an opportunity for you to evaluate your life and make changes one way or the other. The fact that you got into this position tells you that your current thoughts aren’t working for you. It is an opportunity for you to try something radically different.

Man does not fear being powerless, he experiences it. What man fears the most is the knowledge of his own personal power, of whom he is and what he is capable of. Man uses religion to disempower himself so that he does not have to take responsibility for what he creates and he doesn’t even do it consciously. He creates religions and circumstances that do it for him subconsciously. It is what we have been taught since birth – can we believe anything else?

Try this whenever you are questioned by others or even yourself. When the question comes up about you believing in God or a higher power, answer this way – I believe in me and my power to create all that I desire and experience. I am the creator of all that I experience in this lifetime – there is no one else. I am that higher power and the embodiment of all that I know God to be. Feel the empowerment in those words or the fear that comes from saying the words. You will know immediately what motivates you.

It is not my intention, and never will be, to change the world. I believe it is perfect just the way it is. It is a giant buffet of opportunities that you may choose from. It is your perception of the world that you have control over.

It is the 600 free channels on your TV plus the pay-per-view that you are now experiencing. It is about a life experienced by freedom of choice and not fear. Even in your darkest hour, you will always have a choice because you create your experience through a thought made manifest, and a life lived in fear or freedom.

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A published author, a student of NLP, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy’s books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination, and take you to places you would never have thought of.

Claim your copy of Roy’s new book at: http://www.yourlifewasnevermeanttobeastruggle.com

Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.com

Author: Roy Klienwachter
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Hybrid and Electric Cars

Words convey ideas and provide a venue for communication. Words, though, can have different meanings to different people. But, when push comes to shove, the idea of, “something to wipe my face and nose with,” is communicated and understood. In the fictitious account given above, the people’s minds did not get barbed on the word Kleenex, no matter how well branded the trademark is. Words were used as a tool. Tissues and a bandanna were offered. More importantly, the ideas of encouragement, compassion, and appreciation were expressed and healing was the natural outcome to the stressful situation.

Although words can be helpful, they can also be stereotyped and misconstrued. For example, the words Christian Science, basically a trademark made more widespread by Mary Baker Eddy in the 19th century. However, Eddy’s definition for Christian Science is very different from the definitions read in today’s dictionaries. In her book Rudimental Divine Science, Eddy defined Christian Science, “As the law of God, the law of good, interpreting and demonstrating the divine Principle and rule of universal harmony.”

In Science and Health, Eddy wrote, “The term CHRISTIAN SCIENCE was introduced…to designate the scientific system of divine healing.”

In her definitions for Christian Science, Eddy does not mention, or allude to, it being a religious system she founded, or a church. In fact, because Christian Science is spiritual power, she writes in Science and Health, “Through Christian Science, religion and medicine are inspired with a diviner nature and essence…” Christian Science is simply a brand name for the universal force of good.

Newton discovered a force, influencing motion, and called it gravity. He wrote a manuscript, Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, describing universal gravitation and its rules. Eddy discovered a force, advancing goodness, and called it Christian Science. She wrote a book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, describing the universal Science of Truth, Good, and its rules, including the rule of spiritual healing.

Years after Eddy discovered, wrote about, and taught Christian Science, she started a Church of Christ, Scientist; Newton did not formally organize an institution for students. During the next century, Christian Science became inordinately associated with the Church of Christ, Scientist. And, the definition of Christian Science tends to be reversed, defined as a religious system, a church, a philosophy of beliefs established by Eddy; whereas the definition for gravity is distinguished from Newtonianism.

Words are symbols. The human mind has a habit of confusing the symbols with the ideas supporting the symbols. Therefore, every so often definitions warp, although this does not alter the ideas or their principle. But usually, definitions are fairly stable. Admittedly, the spiritual ideas of encouragement and compassion have not been restricted to the use of facial tissues, and “the only thing to wipe our face with” has not become the definition of Kleenex.

A force of Good exists, is advancing healing and improvement-advancing deliverance from limitation and mortality. This force has been and ever will be, discovered, experimented with, practiced, and described by people of all backgrounds, ethnicities, religions, and circumstances. Different words or symbols will be used to describe the law of Good, because this immortal energy is immeasurable and will never ever be constrained by, or constricted to, a symbol, a book, a select group of people, a product, or a human organization.

Definitions of Christian Science in today’s literature display an assumed ownership, detracting from Eddy’s original meaning. We read definitions of Christian Science such as in the Merriam-Webster online Dictionary, “a religion founded by Mary Baker Eddy in 1866 that was organized under the official name of Church of Christ, Scientist…” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/christian%20science (Sept. 2008). Public perceptions, including the definitions of Christian Science, are diverse due to the assumption that a person, or a religious group, originated or have control over Christian Science. Impossible, when Christian Science is a spiritual, eternal power.

Christian Science, in its spiritual meaning, does not begin with a select person or group. Every person, every iota of creation is influenced by the law of Good, just as we all are influenced by the law of gravity.

When push comes to shove, the law of Good, and its healing influence, prevails. Words, and their random definitions, will not be an obstacle. Through Christian Science, also called divine Science, spiritual Science, the law of Love, of the Almighty, and a plethora of other words, human beings can take a stand-can detach themselves from symbols long enough to re-attach on a clearer level, to infinite, all-embracing Good. We can apply the principles of spiritual healing to our environment, our religions, our bodies, and our perceptions, scientifically, and feel the natural outcome of goodness.

Cheryl Petersen has revised and updated Eddy’s “Science and Health.” Her book, “21st Century Science and Health,” is found online at http://www.HealingScienceToday.com

Author: Cheryl Petersen
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Omron HEM-790IT

Over the past years, there were many talks about earning money by getting online surveys. Still some people stay neutral about this online jobs. The reason that they are neutral, because they have very less information about surveys, and they don’t exactly know why these companies pay millions of dollars each month to people like you and me.

If you spend your free time online, it would be better if you could make some extra cash. In this point, online paid surveys come to your help. This is a simple thing that you can do while you enjoy internet. The most of all companies are occupied with market research. This is how they learn the minds of their customers. They want to find out what their customers use, what they want, what they don’t want, what they hate and etc. We are consumers, and they need our opinions, they need us.

If you are a beginner, you need to consider following thins when you join survey companies. First of all, do some quick research. There are many survey companies available online, but some of them don’t offer much money at all. To find the best survey companies just use search engines, or at the same time, in order to save time you can join online survey database site alternatively. After you join survey sites, don’t register at all them immediately. Firstly, gain some experience. Try to make trust on companies when you complete their surveys. If you gain trust, they can email you their other surveys, and it will be extra money for you. Then, after a while, you gain experience, join as many companies as you can, it will increase your earning.

To save your time you can look at Huge Survey Database Site http://www.copyblogger.info

Author: Kamil Abbas
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Canadian crossborder shopping

Fashion photography is ALWAYS in fashion. Although it is mainly dependent on commerce, fashion photography is now considered as an art. Unlike before where fashion photographers see the craft as a source of income, modern fashion photographers see themselves as artists who can invent and reinvent different photo shoot techniques and style.

BECOMING A FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER

If you are a budding photographer and has always been fascinated with fashion and photography, you may want to make fashion photography as an option.

Imagine yourself traveling the world and setting foot on exotic islands and historical sites, working and hanging out with famous, most creative, and talented people in the fashion industry, taking the photos of international super models to have them published in various fashion magazines, having your named renowned internationally, and to top it all, you are paid a huge sum of amount while enjoying these perks.

Today, where almost everybody can become a fashion photographer through the use of reliable digital cameras, soft wares, and other photo editing gadgets, more and more people photo and fashion enthusiasts are into the lucrative business of fashion photography.

But, how do you break in? Here are some of the things you may want to consider:

- Make up your mind and decide if you really want to be in the business.

- Don’t hesitate about potential clients and income because fashion photographers are always in demand.

- Choose where would you want to land on the business-either freelance, ones without an agent; freelance with an agent, employed by a retailer, employed by a publication either a magazine, a book publisher, a newspaper, and the like; employed by an established fashion house, employed by an advertising company, employed by a fashion or clothes manufacturer, employed by a direct-mail company or you would want to open up your own studio and get clients on your own.

FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY CHECKLIST

So, you really want to become a fashion designer? After deciding what you really want to do and where would you want to land in the gigantic world of fashion industry, you should make a short reassessment of your skills, you work ethics and etiquette to become successful in the path you have chosen to take.

There is more to fashion, photography, and fashion photography than meets the eye. Bear in mind that the craft and the business are beyond the realms of taking good photos, models, clothes, and products. Also remember that being a fashion photographer is more than an average person who takes good pictures. Technical and artistic skills in photography are required. Additional skills in styling, natural knack for clothes, great artistic inclination in modeling and composition, and entrepreneurship spirit are also a must.

If you didn’t make it in the fashion photography scene yet, consider some options and career paths like working periodicals, ad agencies, department stores, fashion houses, modeling agencies, retailers, catalogues, galleries and in stock photography agencies while waiting for that big break. Experiences in these fields can hone your innate skills and may open up doors to greater opportunities.

More tips in becoming a fashion photographer, breaking into and succeeding as fashion photographer, starting a fashion photography business, starting a fashion photo studio, starting a glamour photo studio and even getting paid to take beautiful fashion pictures and travel the world in the internet. These sites also provide information, and pieces of advice and tips for those who are interested in entering the industry as well as for those who would want to enhance their knowledge in the craft.

Low Jeremy has been freelancing as a writer for a number of years now. He contributes his articles on various topics like finance, renovation design and product reviews for websites. His latest article can be found at http://www.kitchenpantrycabinet.org where he share ideas on custom building your own kitchen pantry cabinet and other storage unit ideas.

Author: Low Jeremy
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Low Cost Prototype PCB Assembly

Area 51 is a top secret government facility; which is first mentioned in a CIA document in 1967. For many decades, the government’s position was that no such base existed, but as of recent note, the Government has conceded that there is a military installation, near Groom Lake, which is the facility identified as Area 51.

Area 51 is renowned for being the leading edge in the development of top secret military aero-space projects, as well as being the center for a conspiracy theory whereby the government keeps and studies Alien Aircraft that it has captured over decades, most notably the wreckage from Roswell NM.

However, the amount of press and knowledge of Area 51 makes it unlikely that any truly ground-breaking high-level research is done there, even if it was done in the past. It is the opinion of the Author, that projects remain, as well as the tightened security measures, as a means of keeping interest on that site, instead of others. But, one can not deny the expense put into keeping the Groom Lake facility operational.

People often wonder, what other stories about the facility must be true, because for the longest time, the Government denied the existence of the facility itself. So one must wonder if the stories of captured Alien Spacecraft and mutilated Alien bodies might be true as well.

Due to its attachment to Alien Spacecraft, Area 51 is constantly a source for UFO researchers and government conspiracy theorists. If you find yourself interested in UFOs and Alien Abduction, I personally invite you to visit my blog below.

Chris Patrick is an aspiring author, with an interest in unexplainable phenomenon. Tired of seeing only the same old UFO accounts on various websites, he started this site, so that anonymous people could post their accounts without fear of any reprisal or ridicule. If you would like to submit your own alien encounter account (or critique), you can do so here. If you do decide to post, he asks that you format and spell check, and you probably want to submit anonymously.

Author: Chris Patrick
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Pressure cooker

There are many different steps to make in the brewing process, and there are some ingredients that are essential, and the most important ingredient to the entire process is patience! To complete the whole process it will take you at least three weeks, in some cases even longer for the beer to be in optimum condition and ready for consumption. Starting your own home brewing process takes some planning in order to ensure that all of the equipment is sanitized and ready for use by the time you need it in the process. The second part in this planning stage is gathering your ingredients for your favorite recipe in case you use beer making kits and beer kit packages you need to make sure they are ready to use.

All equipment and ingredients should be ready for use during your home brewing process.

If you miss a piece of equipment or an ingredient is missing, the beer may end up flat because the fermentation process did not work correctly or you have some other problem, like the sediment not settling or the taste being off. You need to be a bit precise for brewing but if you use home beer making kits they are a sure way to get a good end result because these kits contain everything you need for beer brewing, including the ingredients. The only additions you need to some of the kits are the dextrose for the secondary fermentation process and the fermenting agent, some sort of malt or sugar according to taste. So called beer kit packages also include these ingredients. They are easy to use and the beer brewed is very tasty.

Equipment For The Ultimate Beer Brewing Process

The equipment for the process called “beer brewing” has to be sanitized at the beginning of the process and each time it is used again. You need to do this to prevent a build up of bacteria. This could be harmful to the beer but also be harmful to you and who ever drinks it. Sanitizing is done with the use of bleach or iodine solution and all of the equipment used in the brewing process should be soaked in it for at least thirty minutes. After that it should be thoroughly rinsed and dried.

The Brewing Pot

A large stainless steel brewing pot is the first thing you will use in the process. This pot is used to heat the water after that the mix from the beer kit should be dissolved into them. At the end of this process the wort is ready for primary fermentation in the primary fermenter the second piece of equipment needed in the brewing process. The primary fermenter has an airlock and stopper to prevent air from outside getting into the fermenter, but also allows the carbon dioxide to get out so that it does not explode.

Of course you need other equipment like the bottling bucket, beer bottles with caps and sometimes a bottling machine. It is important to have dark beer bottles from plastic or glass. This will preserve the taste of your home brewed beer the best.

Home brewing is not as difficult as you might think, the beer brewing process gives you the security you need to get started and learn the basics. When you have gained more experience there is time enough to start some experiments with recipes and ingredients.

The author of this article, Peter Waterman, writes on his website about his greatest hobby, making his own beer. Read his articles about his microbrewery or about custom beer labels.

Author: Peter Waterman
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Low-volume PCB maker

Beauty

Beauty is defined as the phenomenon of the experience
of pleasure, through the perception of balance and
proportion of stimulus. It involves the cognition of a
balanced form and structure that elicits attraction and
appeal towards a host, creature, inanimate object,
scene, music, idea, etc. It’s as well seen as An assemblage
or even graces or even properties pleasing to the eye, the ear, the
intellect, the aesthetic faculty, or even the moral feel.

Beauty is the quality that gives pleasure to the mind or even
senses and is associated with such properties as
harmony of form or even color, excellence of artistry,
truthfulness, and originality.

A common understanding of the word beauty suggests
that it’s the appearance of things and people. For
illustration, we call miss globe or even miss universe the virtually all
beautiful female on earth. Also a fully blossomed
rose is as well called a beauty. Beauty can’t be measured,
not can it be counted. It’s purely subjective in nature,
and its comprehension changes based on data from perception
set of individuals.

Beauty has always been revered from the time individual
kind had developed basic senses. We’ve heard of
umpteen number of stories in history when wars utilized to
be inflicted upon for the desire of beautiful females. Beauty
is all pervasive in nature and rises above any
discrimination of race, caste, religion, etc.

Many theorists and scientists have tried to deconstruct
beauty into even more understandable parts. 1 idea is to
look at it from the point of see of how much symmetry is
discovered in the object. A few of the main contributions in this
regards are – The inborn inclination of people to be
attracted to symmetry coupled with the natural want or even
pursuit of happiness leads to the premise that symmetry
is indeed the symbol of beauty.

Mortal beings are so engrossed with beauty that it’s
taken a awesome shape in economy in the form of beauty
industry. There are many enterprises and organizations
taking part in selling beauty products. These range from
your next door beauty salon to a multi-billion premium
branded marketing organization spread across 150
countries in the globe.

Beauty care is a outstanding act time and pastime for mortal
beings, especially women. Beauty is perceived to offer
attractiveness and confidence. Beauty care includes hair
care, face care, skin care, nail care, proper diet,
vitamins, etc.

There are many therapies dedicated to the cause of
beauty care. Even more crucial among it is
aromatherapy, cosmetology, laser coarse of action, hair
coloring, slimming techniques, etc.

Many authors have written on beauty. A select few of the wonderful
quotes are “a thing of beauty is a joy forever” by John
Keats. “True beauty lives in deep retreats, Whose veil
is unremoved, Till heart with heart in concord beats, And
the lover is beloved” by Wordsworth. And “We all know
that a thing of beauty is a joy forever and that beauty lies
in the eye of the beholder. Is not it interesting how the
perception of beauty” by Anon.

Helen Keller sums it all “The virtually all beautiful things in the
globe aren’t seen nor touched. It is felt with the
heart”.

Codi Bellezia is the owner of a beauty z [http://www.abeautyz.com] which is a premier resource for beauty information. for more information, go to [http://www.abeautyz.com]

Author: Codi Bellezia
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Benefits of electric pressure cooker

Legit online jobs membership site is an established work at home website. It is not just a buzzword. It is a way to get free real resources, and increase revenues. The emergence of make money online is a blessing. Internet sourcing has become a major part of the word, and growth has not been by chance.

Legit online jobs offers the largest free active resource programs for everyone. These credentials have been approved and are controlled by professional guru through its various standards resource. Several of the world’s leading companies have been links to the membership and VIP section, these companies offer well-structured through their centers worldwide.

The program is designed for fresh newbie, the under-graduate, unemployed, desirous of starting a career working at home conveniently as part-time or full-time.

Some of the benefits the membership site offer to everyone are:

1. Have an excellence team of support staff to answer any questions that may arise while performing the task.

2. A one-time membership fee to VIP member.

3. Have some credentials like web assured certified, scam X certified.

4. Offers lots of Bonuses and 100% money back guarantee.

Many membership website are scam they have poor methods, however many have good methods but still not acquire the traits to success. The reason for this is they lack the correct mindset to succeed.

If you want success in anything in life including work at home business, then you must desire success. If you have desire, then you will do what required to succeed online.

There are lots of free resources program where you can make a nice buck in the membership site.

My name is Young Martins and I Live in Nigeria.

Did you find those information useful? You can learn a lot more about how legit online membership website can help you work at home.

Author: Young Martins
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Made to order

Religions are all over the earth. We have book-based religions (such as Judaism, Christianity, Islam and cultic versions such as Mormonism, Armstrongism etc.), man-based (such as ideological belief systems, not necessarily claiming religious authority but perhaps a more mental reason – many self-help ideologies are centered around this) and others are nature-based. There are numerous sub-groups to these major groups.

What is it about religion that attracts us? Many of them are isolationist in nature. Christians don’t like Jews, and others don’t like Muslims. Some can’t stand buddhists – and on and on it goes. People drive one another to hate and division in the name of religion. They want to be “in the right”, and for them to be that they have to isolate people out of their “in club.”

Religion Was Supposed to Unite

Many believe religion was supposed to unite people, yet religions have caused the exact opposite to happen. People have gone to war to annihilate people with different beliefs. We have waged wars against one another – each claiming to do so “in the name of God.”

What would a creator accomplish by setting others in the “out” group? Noone likes to answer that. Because they know they are themselves in the wrong – it seems.

What Can You Use This Tendency For?

You can choose one of two possible ways:

• You could create your own new religion
• You could build upon an existing religion

By either creating a whole new religion or building upon an existing religion, you can develop the Version Plus of an ideology you have always liked. Create a non-profit organization, and start building a fortune by your “brand” of religion. Donations – or maybe even tithes – are tax-deductible for people who support your religion, and there is a lot of money in religion.

You see religions all over the planet. Build your own website and you’re in business. You need to create a fixed number of doctrines, and these can be built around any version of an existing religion you like. Freedom of speech and freedom of religion will be your shield against criticism.

Whether you want to build it upon a semi-political aspect (to get people fired up), or some sort of nature-loving or ancient perspective is up to you. Building your own religion is your chance to be truly unique, and to start from a version of scratch you choose.

Religious people might not like this, but they won’t lose anything just because you choose to express your religion in your own personal fashion. You should be able to generate lots of sympathy when you use the right kind of fluffy language with a certain sound of morality – and you’re bound to become succesful with your own religion.

Thanks for reading this article. Hope you enjoyed the information.
You can see my overview of blogs over at http://blunckmeister.googlepages.com
You can follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/henrikblunck

Author: Henrik V Blunck
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Digital Camera News

I know that this article as well as this subject is going to touch the chord of so many people both positive and negative, both mothers and fathers. I recently posed a question to both men and women and to my astonishment; both favored and concurred with it. So, what is it? Child support! Did you know that child support is determined on the income of the noncustodial parent? Yes, I’m sure most of you know that. However, do most of you agree that child support laws are antiquated and biased and needs to be changed?

If support payment is based on a noncustodial parent income, then what happens to the excess of the money that is received by the custodial parent once the child’s needs are taken care of? Most noncustodial parents want accountability for the payments received. I concur. During the divorce process, both parties are required to present a financial affidavit outlining all their expenses, assets and their income. Why then shouldn’t custodial parents outline the monthly expenses of the child or children and present that to establish support payment? If it takes only $500 for a child’s monthly expenses and the custodial parent receives $1200, then the remaining $700 is custodial support. Doesn’t seem fair does it? The question that was presented to both men and women was should custodial parents be accountable for the child support payment they receive?

Child support laws have changed in many states to include the income of both parents, however, it needs to be changed nationwide for child support to be based on the expenses of each child. Most noncustodial parents would then stop evading child support and those that are reluctant to pay child support will pay child support because it will be based on the expenses and needs of the child. In order to make child support fair to both parents, this small change can be easily implemented when establishing the child support order.

Christy is pregnant by her ex-boyfriend and she came to my office for advice on how to proceed with her relationship with the father of her child. She was initially quite angry and disappointed but elated that she was having a baby. She did not want the father involved with the unborn baby and wanted to do it all by herself. I thought how selfish, but I explained to her that her baby would benefit by having both parents involved in his/her life. In another session, we discuss how much child support she should receive. I asked her to write down all the expenses she would incur from having the baby as well as the budget monthly for caring for the baby. She brought the expenses during a follow-up session and I suggested that is the amount you ask for child support and present the father with the budget. When she came back, her relationship with the father had taken a positive turn. Christy informed me that he was relieved that she was fair and equitable in deciding on the financial responsibility of raising their child.

However, the face of child support is changing. Statistic shows that 85% of custodial parents are mothers and 15% are fathers. The fasting growing segment/population of parents are fathers. More and more fathers are fighting for custody and in today’s changing world; more fathers are getting custody of their children.

This is the perfect place to introduce Denise. Denise contacted me last year when her husband, of whom she was separated from, kept her two children when they visited him for the summer. She wanted to know her rights and the rights of her husband. What I told her shocked her. No parent actually has custody of their children unless it is outlined and determined in a divorce decree or in other documentation signed by both parents. I suggested to Denise that when the children come back for the Christmas holiday she could keep the children with her. However, I also suggested that she should have a candid conversation with her children to see where they prefer to live, with mommy or daddy.

At Christmas her two children came to visit, however, Denise did not take my advice. The children went back after the holiday to their father. During her divorce hearing in the following spring, and when the issue of custody was presented, the judge asked, “if you wanted the children with you, why didn’t you keep them when they came to visit?” He continued to say, “if you didn’t think the father was doing a good job with the children, why did you allow them to stay with him for so long.” Denise called me after the hearing and informed me that the father was awarded custody and she should have listened to me.

Denise is not the only mother I know that doesn’t have custody of their children and is the noncustodial parent. I have several mothers that I consult that are noncustodial parents. What happens when mothers are noncustodial parents? Do they have to pay the percentage outlined in child support laws? The answer is yes. What I’ve seen when mothers are noncustodial parents are fathers are more lenient to mothers paying child support and seldom demand that they pay the amount outlined in child support laws. This is the case for Denise. She only pays a small amount per month to the father for the care of her two children.

After seeing a trend in the way fathers who are custodial parents allow the mothers who are noncustodial parents to pay a smaller amount from the norm, it got me to thinking, why are so many mothers, who are custodial parents demanding noncustodial parents to pay a percentage of their income when in most cases that amount greatly exceed the need of the child or children.

I’m hoping that the laws will change in the future to allow custodial parents to outline the monthly expenses of their child or children when faced with child support. More noncustodial parents will stop evading paying child support and more will spend quality time with their children. Since 1975, over $100 billion is owed in unpaid child support. Of the amount owed, 70% of the noncustodial parents make less than $10,000 annually. The figure continues to grow because of the economy and the high number unemployment rate because of the amount of people being laid off. However, if both parents are working together for the same goals, and those goals are to love, provide, protect, be their physically, emotionally, and spiritually for our children, we are providing the best for our children.

When noncustodial parents pay child support, they are more likely to be involved and spend quality time with their children. Statistic shows that when both mother and father are actively involved in their children’ lives, the children do better in school, more likely to go to college, less likely to be involved in drugs, less likely to get pregnant, and less likely to be involved in gangs and violence. It starts with noncustodial parents being treated fairly when it comes to child support. After all it is “child support” not “custodial parent” support. Let’s work together to change the laws as it pertains to the monthly amount noncustodial parents pay for child support. You can start by contacting and writing your Senator or State Representative asking them to change the laws and make child support based on the monthly financial needs and expenses of the child or children. We can make a difference and we can strengthen families.

A child needs both parents involved in their life. When one parent abuses or misuses the other parent, a great amount of strain is placed on the relationship. The parent who is absent from the home, the noncustodial parent, will feel resentment and most likely stay away, even at the sacrifice of not seeing his/her child or children. I hear it time and time again from noncustodial parent and in most of my sessions with custodial parents; I communicate the frustrations and desires of noncustodial parents. Some times my message is positively received and other times the emotions of the custodial parents and noncustodial parents perpetuate a great division between both parents. I strongly believe that if most custodial parents appreciated and respected noncustodial parents many dilemmas between the two parents could be greatly avoided. Also, by no means am I taking away the responsibilities of noncustodial parents, what I see daily are the opportunities being taken away from noncustodial parents.

When one parent is no longer living in the same household with the other parent and children, a child support battle ensues. It can be made easier with less emotion and with both parents satisfied with the process if the actual expenses of the child or children are taken into consideration. All noncustodial parents will know exactly where the money is being spent and that child support payments are being accounted for. Parenthood is an opportunity and responsibility. So many times one parent takes that away from the other parent. We as parents can make a difference in the lives of our children by providing the best for them. The best for them is both parents actively participating and involved in our children lives and both parents wanting and providing the best for our children. What a wonderful world this would be.

Here are some suggestions to move more towards an amicable relationship with the other parent.

o Decide that your child’s or children’ best interest is the most important aspect of the relationship with both parents.

o Write a budget for each child. Make a list of all the expenses that is involved with the monthly care and needs of each child.

o Start appreciating the other parent and realize that they make a world of difference in the lives of their children.

o Get past the emotional upsets that caused the relationship to go awry. Parenting without the emotional upsets toward the other parent will open up a new relationship between both parents that will ultimately benefit your children.

o Contact your child support office and let them know that the budgeted amount calculated in as mentioned above in the second point is what you want to receive monthly for child support.

o Contact your Senator or State Representative and let them know that child support law need to be based on the expenses of each child and abolish the percentage of income of the noncustodial parent based laws.

o Watch and see the noncustodial parent playing a more important and bigger role in their child’s or children’ lives.

o Watch and see the difference in your child or children.

o Better yet, watch and see how your life will ultimately change because of letting go of all the hurt, pain, anger, disappointment, frustrations and whatever other emotional baggage that festered inside of you. Your family will completely change for the better.

I hope that these suggestions are received and are acted upon and that overnight your life, your children’ lives and the noncustodial life will change for the better. However, we are all human and it make take some longer than others. The most important aspect of change is wanting to change and wanting what’s best for not only ourselves, but for those we love. Start with one suggestion and keep adding each day, each week and whenever you’re able to move on.

Take my advice because I have played the role of both custodial and noncustodial parent and I feel and have lived the experiences of both. Trust me, my advice will make a world of difference for your children.

Dawnette Lounds-Culp
Publisher/Author
The Face of Child Support
http://www.angeleyespublishingco.com

Author: Dawnette Lounds-Culp
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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